Time Keeps on Ticking

The change of seasons can tend to direct our thoughts to the passing of time. It is a reminder that nothing stays the same forever. Time can be comforting, or it can be extremely activating. The inevitability of change can be full of excitement and glowing anticipation, or it can plunge us into fear, dread and anxiety. It can do all of those things simultaneously in our system causing confusion and charge. How is it for you? As the leaves fall from the trees and the days grow shorter, how are you coping?

We have all heard that time heals our wounds. I think that is often true. However, sometimes the opposite shows up! We work on healing and then time comes along and throws us into a new experience that activates the system, and it can feel like we never did any healing at all. Time can cut our wounds wide open. It can be shocking, disappointing and painful. But for as much as it feels like time, as it moves forward, has thrown us backwards into our pain, we aren’t starting over completely! When we develop effective coping mechanisms, we have the tools to manage our wounds much more effectively then when we first started the process. When time plays its tricks on our nervous system, we simply need to examine what is happening with curiosity and compassion. What was the change that time brought us? What was the circumstance that peeled back our protection? What is the emotion? What was the response? Did you automatically fall back into ineffective coping mechanisms from the past? When met with curiosity, we can observe our responses in a way that invites organic change. We don’t have to muscle through healing! We can notice what the system needs to settle and allow the body to do the work. Our system, much like time itself, wants to move forward.

What do we do when our self-protective mechanisms keep trying to pull us back? First, we need to recognize that whatever system was employed to help us survive our earliest trauma is ingrained in the nervous system. Our nervous system recognizes that whatever we did to get through those formative experiences did indeed keep us alive. However, our front brain realizes that there is more to it than simply staying alive. We want to stay alive and feel peaceful. The first step to healing the wounds brought on by the passage of time is to back track and find a sense of understanding for our undeveloped selves as we navigated the early days. Then we can take a journey along our timeline and begin to notice coping tactics that were helpful and those that weren’t. As we gain this understanding, we then have the opportunity to create systems of healing that can apply to different situations. It’s all a journey of discovery. Whenever time rips off the bandages of our traumas, we aren’t starting over from scratch, instead we are receiving more information about how we heal!